Alternative title: {How To} Ruin Your Own Life

You guys, I don’t know why I do these things to myself, but after selling all my belongings I decided that my living situation wasn’t miserable enough. I quickly compiled a short-list of things I could do to lessen my quality of life.

1. Adopt a rabid, one-eyed possum requiring daily insulin injections.
2. Volunteer as a diaper-changer in the geriatric unit of the ape house.
3. Upholster my own headboard.

Being the optimist I am, I thought surely making my own headboard would be much easier than the other items on my list — so I proceeded to waste 17 consecutive hours on Pinterest finding the perfect headboard. My dedication paid off when I found THIS:

(Insert heart-eyed emoji here.)

Not only were these bedroom walls black, but the headboard was channeled and upholstered in white for MAXIMUM DRAMA. And isn’t drama just so very exciting?!

Speaking of drama, I had one little problem… A window in the middle of the wall.

So whatever headboard I had, I knew I wanted it to be taller than my window so I could just cover my hears and eyes and chant “Lalalalalalaaaaaa!” while pretending the window wasn’t really there. A white, channeled, humungous headboard didn’t seem to exist in stores, so I sent the photo and dimensions to my trusty upholsterer for a quote.

That quote was for roughly one million dollars.

After I had a good cry, I went to Home Depot for giant panels of plywood and ordered some faux white leather online.

I then put together my very first headboard ever, enlisting my most favorite Emily for help.

I failed, and the headboard basically fell apart. I then spent the next 3 months reassessing my life before recalculating my original plans and going at the headboard from another direction.

After much careful planning, I decided to upholster the above individual boards to create the channeled effect, then use a long board across the back to attach them all together. This time it WORKED and I was VICTORIOUS.

(Insert celebration emojis here.)

And that obnoxiously-placed center window? (What window? I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.) I WIN. Who did I win against? I don’t know. But I won.

Sidebar: You may have noticed my bedroom looks very different… A full bedroom reveal is coming up tomorrow on the blog!